To be...or not to be...

I am 27 years old and still dont know exactly what I want to be when I grow up. Growing up I never really had my dreams on one certain thing. I do know that I've always wanted to do something in the medical field or at least helping people. After high school I started the college thing, then I got married and moved out of state. I was planning on returning to school, but life just got in the way. So it was put off and put off. I lived in Germany for three years and while there are educational opportunities, there arent a whole lot. Plus travelling and two children later, I still didnt return. Now, Im settled back in the states and after having marital issues and realizing I could be on my own. Ive seen life differently. I have two children to possibly take care of on my own for the most part and I dont want to have to struggle. While I am working on my marriage...I still want to be prepared for the worst. So that brings to me to where I am now. I have been taking some college classes online and I started Medical Transcription, but soon found out that listening to people talk and me trying to understand them is not what I want to do. So i finished the Advanced Medical Terminology of that course and switched over to Medical Billing. So far, so good. Its definitely trying on the brain. A lot of reading about some stuff thats not that interesting, but at least its doable. As I've been working on this...I've been looking online at job opportunites to see if this is a marketable skill to have. It apparently is one of the growing jobs in the US right now. Honestly, I dont see it. Ive searched and searched and the jobs just arent out there. I will continue and get my certificate in it, but i still feel empty.

I was looking online at nursing programs in the area. Thats always been in the back of my mind as to something I would be interested in doing. So I think, well Im actually pretty positive that I am going to apply to the LPN program the school district here offers. Its an 11 month program that starts in August. Its full time, so i would have to put the boys in daycare or find them a babysitter for that. But i think it will be good for us all. I have been a SAHM/W for over 5 years now and honestly its getting to me. I love my family but I want to do something for myself. The boys have never been to daycare or a babysitter in their life, so I think this will be something good for them as well. I have a long list of things to do before I could possibly be accepted into the program. I think they only take like 36 per year. I have to fill out an application along will a 100.00 application and background check fee. I need 4 recommendations, my high school and college transcripts, answer a butt load of essay questions, and take a pre entrance exam. Thats the beginning. If I pass the entrance exam, I will go on to a selection committee and be "interviewed" and take another entrance type test. All of this has to be done by June. I have filled out the application and got my recommendations all figured out and ready to mail the forms out. I also bought a book at Barnes and Noble the other day to study up on the pre entrance exam. Its been quite a few years since Ive taken any major tests, so i want to be as prepared as possible. My next step is to find a babysitter for the boys....